Ind Aff free essay sample

Infatuation for love is a spell that can be broken in instant of discern. In the story â€Å"Out of Love in Sarajevo†, the main character is delusional about being in love with her college professor, Peter Piper. Contrary to her belief prior to her revelation, she was just obsessed with succeeding academically, thus outdoing her sister Clare. The opening setting of the story provides a hint to what the main character’s emotions were and how she would experience an unexpected life-changing decision: â€Å"it had rained in Sarajevo, and we had expected fine weather† (172). The fine weather in other words, would represent the ongoing love charade between her and Peter, which she was too blind to notice. The rain symbolized purity and an awaiting new beginning. Sarajevo is the town known for the crime of passion (that she, too, is guilty of) committed by Princip and it would be the key to her epiphany. She was blinded by lust, up to the point which she comes to her senses and transforms from insecure to confident. She unknowingly buried herself in a pile of false notions. â€Å"Ah, but I loved him. † (172). She was unaware of what was really taking place; it was far from love. Her professor-student romance with Peter was unnatural but in her mind it was perfect. She mentioned her dependence on Peter for her academic future, without taking the time to really analyze this absurd image of love. She responded to Peter in ways that were out of balance and he even lacked consideration for her. Peter claimed that she wasn’t on his level, â€Å"he said I had a good mind but not a first-class mind† (172) and being her clueless self, she did not take any offense to it. They obviously didn’t have much in common and whenever they did have a conversation, it was long philosophical discussions and it would end in disagreements. The only release she felt from the frustration after their ramblings was found in the endorphins produced during sex. As disturbing as that was, she endured it subconsciously for her academic ambition. She was unaware of her insecurity and a good example is when she compared Clare’s qualities to hers; falsely admitting having given up competing. She envied Clare for being a younger, overachiever. She felt the need to be more than just good enough. The historical event of Sarajevo would play a major role in her becoming conscious of the reality. The realization of a new beginning for her is ironic because she is located in the same place Princip’s fate was chosen. She begins to think about Princip’s decision and the similarities to what she is facing. She decides to base her life off of logic. Princip, too, was owned by his obsession, which was to shoot the Archduke and his wife. He also had the chance to break free of his self-hypnosis. The difference is that she thinks of one possible consequence, which would be a destroyed marriage. Although the marriage wasn’t doing well, she’s deep and in touch with her thoughts enough to see that it wouldn’t benefit anyone if she destroyed it. Her realization relates to the process of Princip dying within his prison cell. Princip’s decision caused him a life and death with guilt. She didn’t want to be burdened with a remorseful life. She realizes the possibility of her mistaken perception after unexpectedly responding to the younger waiter’s smile in an equally powerful, but different way. Her so-called â€Å"love† is no more than just her Ind Aff for Peter and her desire to surpass Clare by taking an easier, but unworthy road to success. In just an instance, her outlook has completely changed. If her physical response to Peter and her passion for lust was what held their relationship together and it took nothing more than a physical response towards a stranger to destroy it, then how ridiculous was this. â€Å"I smiled back, and instead of the pain in the heart I’d become accustomed to as an erotic sensation, now felt, quite violently, an associated yet different pang which got my lower stomach. The true, the real pain of Ind Aff! † (176). She notices all of her possibilities and realizes that Peter isn’t one of them. â€Å"In a world which for once, after centuries of savagery, was finally full of young men, unslaughtered, what was I doing with this man with thinning hair? † (176). She indirectly acknowledges that she is a young, intelligent woman, who needs to have a little more faith in herself and her abilities. She finally has the self-esteem that she longed for and that overpowers Peter’s immature decision of refusing her thesis, after she prestigiously ends their relationship. She’s a winner and the competition against Clare is no longer necessary. +She is now independent and proud. No longer is she enslaved in the chains of Ind Aff. Love has and always will be misunderstood. Princip killed the Archduke and his wife out of his personal desire, not for the love of his country. The narrator wasn’t in love with Peter; she just wanted to be better than Clare. These desires turn into obsessions and obsessions lead to unbalanced thinking. The opportunity to make a thoughtful decision shouldn’t be passed up but for some, it might just be too late to decipher moral from immoral. Whether it’s the spark that ignites a war or the spark that ignites the dynamite to break a thin wall holding a marriage together, neither is worth having on the conscious. In the end, either the possibility of a fresh start will be chosen or the choice of internal imprisonment in a wretched pit of despair. Then again, maybe there’s just no right or wrong when it comes to fate.